Run away

I am so very proud that I have learned to live life without drugs and alcohol, but it sucks that I live in the same town that I partied in. It is a constant reminder of all the wrong things I have done. When you become an addict at a young age as I did there is not to many places you haven't got high or drunk at. From the park, playgrounds,port a johns alleys u name it. These places are a constant reminder of the terrible life I used to live. I could be having a wonderful day and drive by a place where I got high at and it just ruin the whole mood of the day. I am sure that these bad memories will be replaced with good ones but its enough to make me wanna run away and start over making good memories. Sometimes I sit and think why didn't somebody stop me from my reckless behavior. I was just 13 a young girl who wanted to fit in. I now have a 13 yr old girl and I see how,young and niave she is to imagine her doing the things I did at her age it breaks my heart. Didn't anybody see I was on a destructive path. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. But sometimes I wish I could change things.

Broke and Sober

Sometimes life is good and you have to cherish those moments! Nothing in life is guaranteed.I thank God everyday for everything he has gave me BC nothing is our own. The things we have today can be gone tomorrow! My fiance just recently lost his job and the Dr's do not allow me to work. So at first I thought my God why us? but then I looked around and realized we have everything we need. I'm sure God was just shaking his head thinking just trust me!!!!! We may not have brand new flashy stuff, but we are happy. I never would have thought I could be this happy broke and sober!! Huh who knew?

The sickness

I have now been suffering from migranes off n on for about 2 wks. It is an awful feeling to feel useless.I have 5 children who need there mother and I can't do what I need to do. My middle son calls my migranes the sickness. He always ask do you have your sickness today? It breaks my heart that he even has to think like that. It is so frustrating, I finally over came my addiction n now I am battling these migranes. #alwaysfightingabattle

Falling Apart

Well I am slowly giving up on the life I thought was supposed to be something wonderful and a life I loved tremendously. I should not have to explain or justify my feelings over n over again.I guess you can't make someone understand you especially someone truly dosnt want to understand. What is the old saying? You can lead a horse to water but can't make em drink, well I have learned there is truth to that! So I am slowly watching a life I thought was going to be special slowly fall apart n I honestly am losing the will to fight for it!!#losingthewilltofight

People suck!!!!!

You know I don't think I can handle anymore bad luck!! It's like for every 2 things that go well there is 2 things that go wrong. I guess lifr isn't supposed to be easy. I'm not sure if its just me or I am just noticing it now but there are very few people I trust. In the last wk there has been several people who have showed there true colors, backstabbers, 2 faced and unloyal. What I don't understand is why be fake? I can't lie or fake caring BC my facial expressions give it away.You know they say u get what u give well let me just say so not true, the bad guys come out looking like the hero's n the good guys look like the bad ones. But in my case when I was doing wrong I still came out looking like crap but to me I thought I looked like I had my crap together,but in reality I was so messed up physically and mentally!!! Well back to the facial expressions, I guess I always have the resting bitch face.sometimes i actually think im smiling but im not loli#canttrustanyone#restingbitchface

Children!!!!

  I dont wanna sound like an old lady or wat not but,I was watching tv today w my girls (i think we were watching lizard lick towing) n I noticed that they have comercials n advertisment directed towards our children n not one was about reading or physical activities!! So it dawned on me society wants to act like they have the best intetest for the kids but lets face it its our responsability as parents to influence good habits!